Do you feel compelled to reflect on the areas of your life that did not resonate with your core values? It may have challenged you at times!
When addressing these challenges, the ego can hold you back from resolutions. Resistance, frustration and even disbelief about a personal situation or the impact of external influences can get in the way.
Consider this… Say one of your values was to enjoy healthy and harmonious relationships in all areas of your life. Then a situation occurs where tension builds with a work colleague or family member. Tension is simply the emotional response to a resistance of your higher state of consciousness, and core values. Being aware of resistance creates a calm, loving mind state.
We tend to resist the things we want most. When challenged, and frustration builds, follow these simple steps:
Step 1- Ask your honest heart, “What am I resisting?”
This helps you to disengage from the defensive ego, judgement and the expectation of others’ behaviour. Step out of the mind and into the heart of your core values.
Step 2- Feel the answers… I’m resisting happiness. I’m resisting a healthy relationship with… I’m resisting peace…
The answers lead to a disengagement from the tension. You may feel the resistance simply melt away and acceptance for you and the other person(s) restored. The mind frees up positive action steps aligned with your positive values, rather than fear-based ego which keeps you engaged in expectations and conflict (internally and externally). The ego loves conflict as it keeps you in a state of fear and dependency.
Step 3 – Acceptance. We all address situations with the emotional skills we have at the time. When we acknowledge other’s capacity to deal with a situation, we dismantle unrealistic expectations. With this clarity, you will also be able to focus on the positive aspects of the other person.
Step 4 – Love and Kindness. Complete the process with a Buddhist Love and Kindness Meditation. This builds compassion for everyone involved and releases karmic ties.
“I wish you well.
I wish you happiness.
I wish you free from suffering.”
Was this article useful? Please leave your comments! Do you have other techniques that have helped you step out of negative dynamics? Please share in the comments. Thank you!
Samantha offers mindfulness meditation in groups and private meditation classes to build compassion, self-love and confidence.